But God...

Before going to work this morning, Aaron said that if I would've shown him a picture of our marriage now, 3 years ago, he wouldn't have believed it. I had to agree. There was no communication. There was no oneness. There was a cheap imitation of love. The love that the world portrays. The love that demanded from the other, but not from oneself.

But God...

God has a way of using the most foolish, unworthy people. The people that others would say, "Yup, I give them 6 months and it'll be over. " And, we gave more than ample evidence for believing so.

But God...

The morning when it seemed as though we had reached our final plateau, I remember thinking that I was going to exit with a bang. My will at that moment was to shatter any hopes of Aaron and I working out our marriage. I was so filled with rage and pride.

But God...

But God had His will and His purpose. I sing praises to His sovereignty! His that is not contingent upon mine! I turned to Aaron, and in an instant, my will was overcome by God's love. I couldn't speak. Just tears. Love-HIS love, filled the room. It was so tangible that I was sure Aaron felt it too. I asked, "Aaron, do you feel that?...what is that?....is that love?" I fell to the floor in repentance, first towards God, then towards Aaron. We both repented. It was strange, because although I was ashamed of my behavior and my actions, the guilt was gone upon realizing that His sacrificial act surpassed all that I had done or could do. It surpasses ALL understanding! Aaron and I haven't looked back since, but only to sing praises to God for His intervention. 

What is man that You take thought of him, And the son of man that You care for him? ~ Psalm 8:4

How often do I meditate on this verse. This verse has become my heart's puzzled, yet joyful cry. I know that what I am about to say will fly in the face of the ideology that we are to believe in ourselves, and work on our self-esteem. I actually believe that when we hit rock bottom, and think that we're nothing but a wretch, that's when God appears. When all is hopeless, that's when God can be glorified. He's not looking to share His glory, but to reveal His glory and His alone. And then, when we esteem HIM, will we see our worth, being the creatures He delighted in creating.

I believe that God saved Aaron and I for His good pleasure. If anyone knows our situation intimately, I pray that every time they see us, they glorify God in what He alone was able to do, and say, "I know Aaron and Lizzy shouldn't be together right now. They were selfish and stubborn. But God..."